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| 40 week picture. Wow I am so white! |
It's here! February 16, 2013. Ben's DUE DATE! and the day thats been marked as "HOLY SH*T!" in my calendar for all these months. When will he come? Today? or will today just pass with no baby? Am I just jinxing myself by wishing for it so badly?
Well the day passed. And that's ok. I was feeling a little guilty that my parents came so early before my due date and nothing ended up happening and now I am overdue. But I have no control over this obviously. And mom said that waiting here is a lot better than them waiting so far away all the way down in Texas. I also was feeling a little disenchanted upon my due date's arrival yesterday morning because I felt like I knew nothing would be happening... maybe for many more days.
I had some weepy moments in the last days when I was just feeling so uncomfortable. When I couldn't get up off the couch without help, or when I take a step sideways or try to put a pillow between my legs while laying down and I had this shooting pain in my pubic bone. I was just feeling done. Tired. Ready. I woke up one morning and said, "I don't care if I tear all the way through my asshole, I just want him to come now!" (a very different attitude from my fright I had about childbirth at 36 weeks). Noel and I gave Ben a talking to- "Come on, Ben. Mommy's ready for you. We are all so excited to meet you. If you are ready, you can come out now. Please!" yada yada.....
I was in much higher spirits yesterday morning after my breakfast at Silver Diner with Noel and Lina. In the words of my mom "It's amazing the power food has over me in pregnancy." This is why I have gained 50 pounds. EEK! I'm hoping I'll lose 25-30 of those pounds with the birth. Then I'm gonna have some work to do. Anyway... I treated myself to a 30 minute reflexology foot massage to celebrate my due date. So worth it! I got to the place and was telling the therapist to work his magic and make me go into labor- because reflexology is one of those things on list of how to naturally induce... he didn't speak hardly a lick of English and had no clue what I was talking about. I wasn't really expecting it to work, but the desk lady translated what I was trying to say anyway. In the end it was really fabulous. You know how you go to get a pedicure and what you really want out of it is the foot rub but it only lasts a few minutes? This really satisfied! My whole entire body felt amazing afterwards. Maybe there really is something to reflexology and all those pressure points in your feet. I got home feeling so good and relaxed and had an amazing nap. And I woke up in the late afternoon feeling amazing and was having constant Braxton Hicks contractions through the evening. I was like, "Whoa, the reflexology worked!" Especially after my dinner I was having constant contractions... and some of them felt even stronger and more intense than I've ever had. I was pretty sure it wasn't real labor or anything... but I just felt like I had to call mom and tell her! I was expecting her to say it was probably nothing- but she said it sounded like maybe my body was gearing up, that it could be happening soon- that night or any day. She encouraged me to rest and get some sleep, have a little wine, and just try to relax. I hung up feeling like, "OMG OMG OMG Holy shit, is this happening!" I got excited, but also nervous. When one contraction felt so big and tight and put lots of pressure on the "Exit door" I thought "OH NO! This is crazy! How is this watermelon baby gonna come out of there?! That's gonna hurt!" So I instantly took back what I said about not caring if baby rips me through my a-hole. I care. A lot. LoL.
I took a shower and felt much more relaxed after. And then I felt like the contractions had eased up. So I guess it all just could have been false labor... "Maybe Ben sensed that I got nervous" I told mom. To which she replied, "I don't think it works like that." So ok, I just wasn't in labor. "You're either in labor or your not" is what I'm told. So I wasn't. But I will be eventually. We are closer than we've ever been. I will do my best not to get so anxious. It will happen when it happens. He will be here soon enough. And I am just going to enjoy these last days before everything changes. I will cherish these last moments with my husband before we become parents together. I will treasure these last kicks and days of having Ben all to myself, not having to share him with anyone. Carrying him all this time I already can feel some of what is so special about being a mother. Even if it's gonna be tough, I'm looking forward to labor and bringing baby Ben into the world. See you soon Ben!
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| The two best winter pregnancy purchases I ever could have made- This maternity coat and Ugg Boots. I have been able to wear them both everyday since October, and they are lasting me all the way til the end! At 40 weeks, there's not too much room left to grow in the coat though! |
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| On Valentine's Day, Noel gave me the most beautiful gift- these earrings and necklace. He said it was more of a push present than a Vday gift. The stone is amethyst- Ben's birth stone! How sweet and thoughtful is that!? I love love love them! And purple is my favorite color! |
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| All the girl scout cookies Lina sold! |
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| 40 weeks with shirt down. Does the belly look bigger with the shirt up or down? |
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