Almost Half Way There!

At this time 2 days from now, Noel and I will know whether we are having a little boy or a little girl! EEK! So excited! We both think it's going to be a girl, so we'll see if we're proven right. I cant wait to see our baby's little body on the screen!

I finally feel like my life is catching up to me. The last few weeks, as I really started to feel the shift in adjusting to my new life, my thoughts were way ahead of me and the present. I felt... well, frankly, I felt like I was going a little nuts.

In my first weeks here I was so proud of myself and how well I was adjusting. Then the newness and the honeymoon phase started to wear off... and it wasn't pretty. My midwife told me that a lot of women who are uprooted during their pregnancies tend to be more emotionally fragile. When I heard her say that to me and Noel, I was like THANK YOU! I felt so grateful for her validating my emotions. I just thought I was that crazy pregnant lady. It was nice to know that what I had been going through was kind of normal. It got me to start considering what's been going on.

It helped once I started admitting to myself that I was actually having a harder time than I had realized. And when I look at I have faced in the last month alone, I figure it's no wonder. There's the reverse culture shock of returning to American life after over 2 years of living in El Salvador, the pregnancy changes, moving into another new apartment and having to get resettled, and suddenly being a stepmom. I deserve to be given a break right?

But man, it was pretty ugly when the effects of it all started to show. It came out as daily spontaneous crying. I cried about everything. I mean everything. And when I didn't know what I was feeling upset about, I mostly would try to find a way to blame it on Noel and what he wasn't doing. He wasn't talking to me with the right tone of voice, he wasn't picking up after himself enough, he wasn't paying enough attention to me. Poor Noel felt like he couldn't do anything right.  I'm so sorry honey. I was just finding any reason I could to cry. Two nights ago I cried because I wanted a cupcake. Then I really feel crazy- I'm crying and laughing at myself at the same time because I know it is ridiculous.

My grumpy "I'd rather be eating a cupcake than this stupid banana" face

So now I feel like I've had enough. I feel like I am on the other side of it, ready to not let the hormones get the best of me. I'm feeling a little more settled and used to my new life too, that definitely helps.

So what's good? We got two adorable new kitties last weekend! Mr. Thomas Jefferson and Lady Liberty. They are two very cool cats. They were 4 and a half months old when we adopted them. We were at Petsmart and they just ran right up to Noel from their cage and he came and found me and told me about them. It's like they chose us to adopt them. And from the moment we brought them home they just fit right in. You know how sometimes cats can be scared and shy when you change their environment? Not these two, they have been out and social and having fun since they got here.

Mr. Jefferson (left) with his love Lady Liberty

Mr. TJ is in great health. Unfortunately Lady Liberty has had a number of issues. We are disappointed that the humane society gave us a sick cat. They are supposed to be check and treated before you get them. She had an ear infection, giardia, and now she has some strange skin issue that's showing up on her nose. I am really upset about the giardia, because that's contagious. But it should be gone now that we've treated her, and I haven't been cleaning the litter box at all. Noel and Lina have been on top of that.

Fun at the vet

They really are best buddies and love each other so much. They aren't even related. Now that I have two cats and see how happy it makes them to play with each other and have the companionship of another kitty, I feel sorry for the cats I had in my life that were solo. Having a buddy so improves ones quality of life, for almost all creatures, I imagine.

Cuddle Buddies

I have orientation for substitute teaching on Friday. Meh. I'm not entirely convinced I really want to go to work. I am pretty good at keeping busy. I wonder if I will have the energy to keep up with kids all day. I guess I can try it out and see. It sure is nice to make money. And it's cool that I can make my own schedule with subbing.

I am really digging this prenatal yoga class that I've been going to. Today I went for the second time, and me and Kasey were the only students in the class. So it's nice how we can get personal attention. I walked to and from the studio today instead of driving. After, Kasey and I grabbed a bite to eat and then went to Whole Foods. It's so funny how we both would just stand in front of the food cases and stare at the food longingly. We did a good job of keeping ourselves from buying out the entire pastry and prepared foods section. I just left with some Almond Butter, Kalamata Olives, and one cookie. This afternoon I made an Almond Butter & Banana sandwich drizzled with sugar free syrup. Amazing!

I'm trying out this crock pot Lasagna tonight. I'm real skeptical of how it will turn out. It has you put uncooked lasagna noodles in, with little layers of noodle and lots of meat cheese & spinach. We'll see if it actually works out. I'm not one to follow a recipe exactly, but this time I did, and I feel like I shouldn't have. Cooking lasagna in the oven sounds like a much better idea.

Baby's been kicking around in the there a lot lately. I feel like there's a little tiny bumble ball in my belly sometimes. Usually when I laying on my side is when I feel it. Noel says he can feel it a little too when he puts his hand on my tummy. Grow baby grow!


I feel exhausted now after all the yogaing cooking and walking. Time to rest!

Belly shot- 19 weeks, 1 day, in front of our awesome new minivan.

Paz y amor.

18 Weeks Tomorrow

Part 1

Hey folks. I haven't felt much like writing this week. It's been hard to get off the hormonal roller coaster this pregnancy has me on. I'm either feeling like the happiest woman in the world and too busy running around doing stuff and being happy, or I'm feeling like a tired, sobbing mess- and I don't want to write a blog when I'm down because blogging is more fun when you're full of positive things to share. Ya know? But as we all know, real life comes with its ups and downs- and I'm not the kind of person who can fake happy very well. Sometimes you just need to admit that some things suck. Maybe even bitch about it a little.

The crying spells that have been getting me this week do suck. Sometimes all it takes to bring on the waterworks is being spoken too in an disagreeable tone. Once I start crying about something I can't stop. From then on I will cry the rest of the night, shedding tears for so long I don't even know what I'm crying about anymore. Why on earth does pregnancy have to have this affect on me?

Unfortunately, recent news from home has given me a heavy heart and a reason to cry. Today I know what I'm crying about. My parents have told me that Fabio, our family dog of 11 years, has not been well lately. He hasn't been wanting to eat, drink, go on his walks. He just lays there, sick. Anyone who has ever loved and lost a pet knows how heartbreaking it can be when your pet gets to its elder years. Fabio came into our family when I was a freshman in high school in Knoxville, TN. He is the most loving, loyal dog and has brought much joy to our family in his years.

Maybe it's too soon for me to write this blog, because I can't help but cry as I type these words. But I've got my tissues here, so I'll keep going.

Today, after several days of seeing Fabio in this concerning state, my mom and brother took him to the vet. My mom had to ask Evan to go with her for support. I haven't gotten word yet on the outcome of their visit. Perhaps the vet found there was something that can be done to help him recover. Please pray for Fabio Canoli Whipple on this day.

Me, Fabio & Mom just a few years ago

Part 2

Let's talk about some of the happier things that have been happening in my life lately. There is much I have to be thankful for.

First, we've officially decided that we are going to hire the Birthcare midwives to assist with my prenatal care and birth! It is such a relief to have it be definite and decided. I was planning to interview other midwives, who would perhaps offer more personalized care because they would be the one midwife I'd see all the time. Birthcare has 6 midwives, and you see a different one each time to go to an appointment, and on the day of your birth they have 2 that are on call and you get one of those 2. You don't necessarily get to choose who comes to your birth. At the info session we went to though, we were told we can request a specific midwife for our birth, and if she is available the day you are in birth she will come.

Although I like the idea of having a personal relationship with my midwife, I'm not worried about which of them I have come to my birth. Because I have a midwife that will be there that I have the closest, deepest relationship with- my mom. So I have no worries. And hiring Birthcare, we get a much higher level of care than we would get with almost any independent practice midwife, because they are all Certified Nurse Midwives and have their master's in nursing. Most home birth midwives do not have that level of training and education. It is rare to find CNMs that do home births, so I consider myself very lucky to be in the care of such highly qualified midwives. In a week we will have our first appointment with them! I like going to their office because it's in Old Town Alexandria, VA. It's so cute and historic there!

I continue to find more to love about my new home. Sitting on my couch in my living room right now, I watch airplanes coming in for landing at Reagan airport, only minutes away. I love the look and feel of this part of the country. The red brick buildings everywhere. The feeling that everything is so close and in walking distance. I don't have to go on huge 5 lane super highways all the time to get places. It's easy to drive here because everywhere I go the speed limit is about 35. Thank god our new car has a GPS to help me get around. Even though it takes me on long out of the way loopy routes sometimes, I don't care, because it always gets me there eventually. It's just nice and interesting here. Maybe I just feel that way because the newness of this place hasn't worn off yet. I need to remember to take more pictures when I'm out and about to share in my blog what my new home looks like.

Last weekend I met up with an old high school friend from TN, Becca. She invited me out to her part of DC near Eastern Market. We went to a delicious little restaurant called Zest where I had the freshest most delicious omelette. Then she introduced me to the adorable market, where they sell all kinds of artsy things, health products, jewelry, organic foods, etc. It was great! So nice of her to introduce me to something so quintessentially DC.

I am part of this new group of expecting moms. It's neat because we all have due dates that are fairly close to each other so when we get together we are all on the same page and understand what the others are going through. We've only met as a group once so far, but I look forward to getting together and getting to know them better. We'll continue to get new members as the months go on. I've already made one great friend out of it though, Kasey. We have had a good time going out together shopping and eating. It's nice to have pregnant friends. Just as it's always nice to get with people that are going through whatever you may be going through.

I finally found a prenatal yoga place in my area, one that has daytime classes. I'm excited to go try it out on Monday! I imagine it may be tough because it's been months since I did yoga. When I tried doing it back in my first trimester it wasn't working for me, I couldn't bend over without having all the blood rush to my head. Maybe I was just going through too many changes back then. I'm ready to give it another go!

I got a fish the other day. A Beta fish that I let Lina name. She named it Snuggles. She has been great with helping take care of it and feeding it everyday.

Lina and Snuggles

The fish, however, has not satisfied my pet craving. I want a puppy or a kitty, something I can hold and snuggle with. Snuggles the fish is not so snuggly. Surely this is just a prego maternal thing and I'm probably just anxious to have something like a baby to care for. As much as I want a pet, I'm not convinced getting one now is the best idea. Aside from the fact you get so attached to them and have to let them go- it might just not be a good idea for us because we will have to move it with us across the ocean. Poor kitty would have a long flight to go on. And we'll have a baby to care for, I bet we don't need the added responsibility of a pet. Argh! But I STILL WANT ONE!

While shopping for my fish, a Petsmart worker came to offer me help with my shopping. "When's your baby due?" she asked.

"February," I tell her.

Her jaw dropped to the floor and in the most surprised tone one could speak in she says, "FEBRUARY!?!?" Looking me up and down with a look of shock on her face.

I'm ready to punch her in the throat for being so incredibly rude. How indecent people can be. They are just clueless about how to talk to pregnant women. Yea, sure, pregnant women just LOVE for you to tell them how big they look. Come on. So this just makes me want to say Yea I'm having triplets actually. Although it's a total lie. It doesn't matter I don't know these strangers that ask me these questions. Today at the Apple Store I told the store person I'm having twins.

Seriously though, I don't think I am that extraordinarily huge for being almost 5 months. These strangers with their rude remarks probably just don't know or have much experience with pregnant women, so they don't know what's normal or how to talk to them. This is why I find it in me to lie to them... but I kind of just want to give it to them and let them know how rude they are. Perhaps they need to be educated on this. Or as Kasey suggested, maybe I could just ask them back "And when are you due?" I don't know if I have it in me to be mean like that, but hey, maybe if you catch me at the bottom of my roller coaster I just might do it.

We finally move into our permanent apartment tomorrow! Can't wait to be settled in there! And I can't wait to go shopping for baby stuff! Maybe once we go to our appointment with Birthcare next week, we'll have a date for our ultrasound. So much to look forward to!

Lina and I trying out the DVD player in our new minivan. It's pretty sweet! We won't normally use it when we are just driving around town running errands, we were just trying it out for the first time. Will be great for road trips!

On the balcony of our apartment, 17 weeks and 4 days

Our New Home

Greetings from Arlington, Virginia! What a crazy busy few weeks we have had! And now finally we can start settling down a little and getting into a routine. Except for that we have to move out of the apartment we are in now and into our permanent one later this month. But that's ok it won't be that big of a deal, we just have to move everything 3 floors up in the same building. Too bad, I like the apartment we are in now. It's comfy, and is right next to the elevator and the trash room, which you think would mean noise, but it's not noisy, just convenient. In a few weeks we are going to be all the way at the end of a long hallway and far from those conveniences. And my housekeeper told me she cleans that apartment and that it's smaller than the one we're in now :/  Oh well.... we don't pay rent, so I'm not complaining!

So we left El Salvador on Sunday early in the morning. Man, that feels like ages ago! The night before we left we had a nice going away dinner with about 10 of our closest friends in San Sal. At the end of it when I was saying goodbye to everyone I couldn't help but cry like a baby when I said goodbye to my friend Jessica, who came here with me in the Peace Corps and was in my training community with me. She was with me for every step of my journey in El Sal, and I got emotional just thinking about how far we had come together. I couldn't believe it was the end and it really was time to say goodbye. I cried so hard my face went into that ugly expression you get when you are bawling. I will miss her dearly. But at least she's from the DC area, so I will prob see her around here before I head to the Phillipines.

My I cried a lot the morning we left too. From the house nearly all the way to the airport. Then again in the plane as we flew over and saw San Salvador for the last time. It was good to have that feeling of closure. As soon as we got into Arlington and to our new apartment, I knew I would be a-okay. I instantly loved this place. This town is nice. It's so clean here! And the FOOD options! OMG! Within walking distance from our house, our first night we had dinner at a great Thai restaurant. And the next morning we went to a great diner for breakfast. This place makes me a happy girl.

Monday we had the longest day. We went and bought a car- a beautiful new Dodge Grand Caravan... Yes a minivan! lol.... To hold all the kids we're gonna have, duh! Ok, we'll just take it one by one, but it will be nice to have a spacious vehicle in Manila, with the two kids we're gonna have (Lina and our baby) and we'll go on out with Noel's folks sometimes. And we'll have a driver. We need the space! I just need to get used to driving this big vehicle! At least it beeps when you are backing up and lets you know when to stop.

After buying the car we had to get phones and food for the house and then we went out to dinner with Lina at a sushi place near the house. I had tempura sushi. Good, but not as good as the raw stuff! It was a crazy day. But luckily we got everything done that we needed to.

Breakfast on Day 1 at The Silver Diner before car shopping!

Happy Daddy with his little girl in front of our apartments on our second night in Arlington!

Me and Lina. She already loves Little Bubba so much and is really hoping for a little sister.

It's not just the food here that makes me happy, it's the people. I'm so excited to live in a place where I can walk freely on the streets and feel safe without having to constantly have my guard up and worrying about being robbed. Well, I may have to worry about that in some parts of DC and on the subway, but not in Arlington. The people here are so friendly. Just a few days ago, I was walking on the street and saw a pregnant woman with a yoga mat and asked her where she goes. Just like that I made friends with her and her friend and got their numbers. They were so nice. I dont know if I will actually call them... but still, the idea that I can just make friends on the street here is so cool.

I also found this group called Mamistad on meetup.com... I joined and am getting placed in a small group of other pregnant women who are all due within a month or two of me. I already met one girl named Kasey and she's great! We're planning on hanging out again on Tuesday. I cant wait to meet the other ladies in our group. It's nice to have fellow pregnant ladies to celebrate and commiserate with. And on top of this I have a number of friends in the area from Peace Corps and the embassy in El Salvador, and even one from highschool! I think the next 8 months are going to be fantastic.

The other day I ventured out onto the subway- people here call the Metro.... umm it's still a subway, ok. Anyway, it was fun to figure it out by myself... I haven't ridden many subways in my life. Just once or twice in NY and once or twice in Mexico City. It was pretty easy. The escalators are kind of scary though. They are so long and kind of steep some of them. I was holding on to the rail tight with both hands at one point, afraid of falling and tumbling down. My balance isnt quite the same with this pregnancy.

I also looked around and saw a lot of people with baseball caps with the letter W on them... and I thought, Man a lot of people here work at Walgreens! Because the font is the same and red just like Walgreens. I eventually figured it out.... The Washington Nationals!!! DUH!

I took the "metro" over to the Smithsonian and walked around the National Mall a bit. It's so huge! Required a lot of walking. But it's beautiful stuff they've got over there. I need to go back of course, it's too much to do and see all in one day. I just checked out the Washington Monument, WWII Memorial and Reflecting pool at some other thing I can't remember what its called. It's in the picture below past the reflecting pool. Well I didnt make it all the way to that building. It was farther than in looked. I walked halfway there from the other end of the pool, and  said forget it. I was too hot and sweaty from all the walking in the sun. I decided to head back. But it was only 10 am so I didn't want to go home after just that. I walked past the Holocaust museum and decided to check it out. It was a good museum, not the most uplifting subject... but still fascinating. They have a train car that you can walk through and some of the bunks from the camps. Eerie.

I can't wait to go back to that area with Noel this weekend. We're thinking Smithsonian. So cool!

By the time I got back to Arlington I was ravenous. I decided to stop and get a Five Guys burger on the way home. I never had one and always wanted to try it. WOOOO! I tell ya, that place is selling Love on a Bun.

Tonight Noel and I are taking Lina to Target to get her some clothes and toys. She doesn't have much for outfits other than a few dresses. She walked out of her room on Wednesday for me to walk her to school and every article of clothing she had didnt match. I shoulda taken a picture! Plaid pink skirt, tshirt with hearts printed all over it, turquoise cardigan and a lime green striped grey scarf. It took a lot for me not to laugh. I couldn't help it, I told her she didnt match. She looked at herself in the mirror and said, "Maybe you're right" and went to look for something else to wear, and she didn't have much to choose from. Hence, our shopping trip this evening. We're gonna get her some toys too, she doesn't have any here right now and won't until we move into our other apartment. She needs stuff to do other than watch TV. It's an adjustment getting used to having a step-daughter and living with her. But it's fun and she's great. I'm lucky that she is such a great kid!

Next week we are going to meet the midwives at the birth center we are looking at. Hopefully soon we will have hired our midwife and will be able to get in for an ultrasound to find out what this baby is!

That's it for today, folks!

Paz y Amor.

P.S. God Bless America and it's:
                *Toilet Seat Covers
                *Smoothie Joints & Bagged Salads
                * Skinny Cow Ice Cream
                * Greek Yogurt
                * Low fat/Sugar free stuff