D-Day Quickly Approaches

36 week picture

I'll be 37 weeks tomorrow. That's full-term. You know what that means? It's almost go-time! That means that if I went into labor tomorrow we could have our baby safely at home. It means that I have a fully grown and developed baby in this belly. What? Where did the time go? At this rate it feels like perhaps tomorrow I will be crying as he leaves for college.

Coolest refrigerator magnet ever

I'm ok with him taking his time to come out.  This week we had an ultrasound that confirmed he is in position, head down! Thank you God! They saw he had the cord around his neck once, but that's nothing too complicated to go forward with the home birth. The midwives checked me and said I've still got plenty of time for my mom to get here. She arrives on the 6th. My due date isn't until Feb. 16th. I won't at all be surprised if I go past that. Hopefully not too far past it though! That sounds like it might be very uncomfortable!

At my appointment with the midwives, getting checked out

They needed to draw my blood at this appointment.  I am not easy to draw blood from because my veins hide when I get scared of the needle. It took them 3 tries until they finally got it. This is my face on the third try.

My belly has exploded. Lookin' large. It seems like one night, I went to sleep and the next day I woke up and could suddenly feel feet under my ribs high up where I never felt them before. Now he keeps me up at night- I can't sleep because it feels like he is playing my ribs like a harp with his feet. It doesn't bother me too much though. I rather like it, and definitely prefer it to being concerned that I'm not feeling him move at all.

The Belly shot my mom captured today with her Skype camera.
Whoa, Ben is so big now! 

The weeks are sort of flying by. Although this last one was a bit rough. I had a super huge meltdown. About?.... the pains of natural childbirth. What got me going was that my care providers keep asking me at my checkups about whether or not I've be practicing relaxation and breathing, and other pain coping techniques. This whole time I kinda felt like, What do you mean? How am I supposed to practice? You can't practice contractions. I mean I knew there was stuff out there... but it seemed kind of bogus to be practicing- sure its easy to feel relaxed when I'm sitting in my chair in my living room feeling no pain at all.

But after this last appointment when I was asked again if I was practicing I decided to dive into the books and see what was out there. What I read did not help at all. It just freaked me out. I think I would have been better off not getting into any of it... I was feeling perfectly fine with the idea of going into labor with no expectations other than This is going to hurt and I can do this. But no... I had to go and read stuff and practice.

This one book told me to hold ice cubes in my hand while I practice the techniques. First you try the ice cubes without practicing any kind of technique just to gauge how you handle pain. Then you try the breathing and visualizing and all that later. Well the first time I had the cubes in my hand, I got uncomfortable and started holding my breath and getting stressed. It sort of felt like my hand was being burned with liquid nitrogen. I made Noel do it after me, and he made it look like it was so easy. He didn't make a noise, a face, or flinch at all. And so I felt really terrible like I didn't handle it well at all... and how was I going to handle childbirth if I couldn't even get through a minute of holding an ice cube without nearly hyperventilating? So... I had a panic attack about it. I felt like such a weenie for being such a scaredy cat, a cry baby. Noel consoled me and assured me I can do it.

When I finally calmed down, who did I call? My mother of course. She told me she had heard of the ice cube thing before and thought it was ridiculous because contractions feel nothing like ice cubes in your hand. (In my defense, I tried it again later and did much better staying calm and controlling my breathing) Mom also said how she knows I can do it because I've endured plenty of physically painful things- like the amoebas and parasites I had living in me while I was in Peace Corps. She also said many first time moms at 36 weeks feel scared and nervous, just like me. But it's ok, it's because I'm not quite ready yet, and by 38+ weeks I will feel ready. I won't be as scared about it. I just spend too much time right now worrying about stuff ya know. I've always been like that. Now I'm 37 weeks tomorrow, and feeling more ready than I was feeling last week that's for sure. Besides, I spend so much time worrying about labor and birth... but in the big picture that's just one day ya know.... Well... right now it just feels like the most important day of my life and like it's hanging over me... Delivery Day... D-Day...with no knowing of when! This feels like the craziest thing I've ever done. I can't believe there is a big ass baby inside of me! And he has big balls too! Wha? Ew! There are testicles in my belly! Am I the only woman that sounds weird to? The sonographer told us his are swollen- that there's fluid in them so we can expect them to be large when he is born but they'll go down after a while. Haha. I'm sure Ben will really appreciate reading this when he is older!

We finally got some snow this week! It brings a little cheer and excitement to this otherwise very grey winter. Lina's school was delayed two hours the morning that it snowed so Noel and I took her out to try out the sled I bought her for Christmas that we have been holding on to waiting to use. It was her first time ever to go sledding, and she's hooked! We got some great pictures too!

Kitties mesmerized by the snowfall

After her first time down the hill

Noel gives it a try and....

...his graceful landing at the bottom!

Anyway, I'll be keeping busy the next few weeks. I don't have the energy I used to but I tend to keep busy with friends and stuff. It sure beats sitting at home driving myself crazy about the unknowns of the future. I am just doing my best to chill out, not worry, and know that everything will be ok and that my body knows in itself how to do this, and that I will be surrounded with love and support and professionals who know how to help me get through it. Everything will be great... and in the end I imagine D-Day will be the best day of my whole life.

The creation of the Cat Mansion

Noel trying out his new Ergo baby carrier with his baby,  Mr. Jefferson