I finally feel like my life is catching up to me. The last few weeks, as I really started to feel the shift in adjusting to my new life, my thoughts were way ahead of me and the present. I felt... well, frankly, I felt like I was going a little nuts.
In my first weeks here I was so proud of myself and how well I was adjusting. Then the newness and the honeymoon phase started to wear off... and it wasn't pretty. My midwife told me that a lot of women who are uprooted during their pregnancies tend to be more emotionally fragile. When I heard her say that to me and Noel, I was like THANK YOU! I felt so grateful for her validating my emotions. I just thought I was that crazy pregnant lady. It was nice to know that what I had been going through was kind of normal. It got me to start considering what's been going on.
It helped once I started admitting to myself that I was actually having a harder time than I had realized. And when I look at I have faced in the last month alone, I figure it's no wonder. There's the reverse culture shock of returning to American life after over 2 years of living in El Salvador, the pregnancy changes, moving into another new apartment and having to get resettled, and suddenly being a stepmom. I deserve to be given a break right?
But man, it was pretty ugly when the effects of it all started to show. It came out as daily spontaneous crying. I cried about everything. I mean everything. And when I didn't know what I was feeling upset about, I mostly would try to find a way to blame it on Noel and what he wasn't doing. He wasn't talking to me with the right tone of voice, he wasn't picking up after himself enough, he wasn't paying enough attention to me. Poor Noel felt like he couldn't do anything right. I'm so sorry honey. I was just finding any reason I could to cry. Two nights ago I cried because I wanted a cupcake. Then I really feel crazy- I'm crying and laughing at myself at the same time because I know it is ridiculous.
 |
| My grumpy "I'd rather be eating a cupcake than this stupid banana" face |
So now I feel like I've had enough. I feel like I am on the other side of it, ready to not let the hormones get the best of me. I'm feeling a little more settled and used to my new life too, that definitely helps.
So what's good? We got two adorable new kitties last weekend! Mr. Thomas Jefferson and Lady Liberty. They are two very cool cats. They were 4 and a half months old when we adopted them. We were at Petsmart and they just ran right up to Noel from their cage and he came and found me and told me about them. It's like they chose us to adopt them. And from the moment we brought them home they just fit right in. You know how sometimes cats can be scared and shy when you change their environment? Not these two, they have been out and social and having fun since they got here.
 |
| Mr. Jefferson (left) with his love Lady Liberty |
Mr. TJ is in great health. Unfortunately Lady Liberty has had a number of issues. We are disappointed that the humane society gave us a sick cat. They are supposed to be check and treated before you get them. She had an ear infection, giardia, and now she has some strange skin issue that's showing up on her nose. I am really upset about the giardia, because that's contagious. But it should be gone now that we've treated her, and I haven't been cleaning the litter box at all. Noel and Lina have been on top of that.
 |
| Fun at the vet |
They really are best buddies and love each other so much. They aren't even related. Now that I have two cats and see how happy it makes them to play with each other and have the companionship of another kitty, I feel sorry for the cats I had in my life that were solo. Having a buddy so improves ones quality of life, for almost all creatures, I imagine.
 |
| Cuddle Buddies |
I have orientation for substitute teaching on Friday. Meh. I'm not entirely convinced I really want to go to work. I am pretty good at keeping busy. I wonder if I will have the energy to keep up with kids all day. I guess I can try it out and see. It sure is nice to make money. And it's cool that I can make my own schedule with subbing.
I am really digging this prenatal yoga class that I've been going to. Today I went for the second time, and me and Kasey were the only students in the class. So it's nice how we can get personal attention. I walked to and from the studio today instead of driving. After, Kasey and I grabbed a bite to eat and then went to Whole Foods. It's so funny how we both would just stand in front of the food cases and stare at the food longingly. We did a good job of keeping ourselves from buying out the entire pastry and prepared foods section. I just left with some Almond Butter, Kalamata Olives, and one cookie. This afternoon I made an Almond Butter & Banana sandwich drizzled with sugar free syrup. Amazing!
I'm trying out this crock pot Lasagna tonight. I'm real skeptical of how it will turn out. It has you put uncooked lasagna noodles in, with little layers of noodle and lots of meat cheese & spinach. We'll see if it actually works out. I'm not one to follow a recipe exactly, but this time I did, and I feel like I shouldn't have. Cooking lasagna in the oven sounds like a much better idea.
Baby's been kicking around in the there a lot lately. I feel like there's a little tiny bumble ball in my belly sometimes. Usually when I laying on my side is when I feel it. Noel says he can feel it a little too when he puts his hand on my tummy. Grow baby grow!
I feel exhausted now after all the yogaing cooking and walking. Time to rest!
 |
| Belly shot- 19 weeks, 1 day, in front of our awesome new minivan. |
Paz y amor.
No comments:
Post a Comment